I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize