Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.

Fav 4 1447 1959
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(847): View more from Illinois

All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

Fav 3 1540 1956
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(303): View more from Colorado

woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?

Fav 19 5466 1242
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(248): View more from Michigan

To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

Fav 5 5463 1222
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(315): View more from New York

Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check

Fav 7 1085 647
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

Fav 6 1466 561
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(585): View more from New York

Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit

Fav 3 734 474
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(813): View more from Florida

You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.

Fav 0 11 29
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(317): View more from Indiana

Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it

Fav 0 69 59
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