Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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