So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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