Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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