Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
