I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
