I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
