dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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