I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
