You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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