Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
