Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
