is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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