You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
