Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
