How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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