We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
