question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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