I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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