If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We're too hungover to prance.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize