Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
