"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So many bounce houses so little time
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
