Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
