Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
