I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
