whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Even my vagina gasped.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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