I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
