Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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