Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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