chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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