I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
