is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
