Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
