I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
