If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
