If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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