I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
