you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
they're like a gay fantastic four
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
