How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize