I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
