Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize