I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
