Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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