Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
