If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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