he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
