You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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