You're so nebulous sometimes
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We are two peas in an std pod
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You ruined the universe
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
