i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
