people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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