you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
