I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you had me at cake vodka
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
