Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
