This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
