I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
