i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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