Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
