my sisters under your porch take her home
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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