There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
