Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
