I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
