you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
