Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
