allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
