i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
