Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
