I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
