After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
