didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize