I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
