This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
