dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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